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Okay, you’re all sitting around a table ready to get high. If there isn’t a smoking utensil in front of each partoker at the table, then some bong tending may be in order. So who will be the bong tender?

The tender of the weed might or might not be the host of the home, so to speak. It will most likely be the person providing the weed, but it doesn’t have to be.

The sacred duty of bong tender is more than cramming weed into the bowl as it’s passed from friend to friend. It can be so much more if you want to become a truly superb bong tender.

First, and foremost, keep the bong moving, and keep it moving in the right direction. You want everyone to have their fill, and that means getting it from one person to the next.

Don’t allow anyone to Bogart the bong. (I know, the song says not to Bogart a joint, but the principle transfers.)

Next, learn the size of the perfect hit for each person, and remember their size preference.

Some people can take a humongous hit, and some need a more reasonable rip. Don’t bring tears to their eyes and drop them to the floor.

And conversely, don’t make the hit so small, that people wonder if it was truly a hit or just got sucked down the bowl hole. Give them more than a taste.

Make it the perfect sized hit.

After size comes strain preference. Sid only smokes Indica, while Kathy loves the up feeling of a good Sativa. And Quentin will smoke anything that’s good quality, but especially likes the citrusy strains, like Sour Lemon.

Know what will delight each of the people in the room.

There is a lot more that you could learn about your charges … do they want a hit from the big bong or the little bong?

Is someone holding out for a joint to be offered?

What about the woman in the corner who wants to nurse a small pipe? (Yes, find her preference and keep her bowl filled, as well.)

Last, but not least, the bong tender needs to know when it’s time to temporarily retire the bong.

Are munchies coming out?

Should there be a pause to allow the THC to catch up to everyone? Is there a good creeper effect that will come on slowly, once people stop toking?

Choose your bong tender wisely … or take on the duty yourself. And give everyone a great experience.

 

Rip Keves

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